Kanye West innovates new technique for getting murdered really quickly

As if his prior comments about him being the voice of this generation were not egotistical enough, Kanye has actually begun a full-blooded campaign to ensure that any of his remaining fans are eradicated.

It’s not always his message that’s the issue, it’s his medium. For example, when there was a Twitter user impersonating him, rather than being mildly flattered and just letting the world know that user is an impostor, he somehow manages to sound more childish than the 8 year old pretending to be him. In fact, his blog post about it is so phenomenally asinine, that it deserves a full analysis on each individual component that led to the creation of such a massive brainfart.

Kanye actually edited this post several times before posting

Let’s begin:

“(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts)”

You’re right. Anyone who would impersonate you is, in fact, a loser.

WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I’M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I’M NOT AND I’M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN’T TELL THE WORLD

Oh. Snap. You are too cool for school yo. Laying on a beach and shit. Damn. I wish I was you.

EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF

Wrong. Twitter enforces a 140 character limit, which would mean more shutting the hell up, which is definitely something you need more of.

TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW …. WHY? … BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

When I become rich and famous, I’m going to buy the Lucky Charms cereal factory and ensure that when you buy a box, the special charms will be razor blades.

Of course, we must remember that Kanye is not just a douchebag, he’s a professional douchebag. He will not limit the scope of his campaign to just the interwebs. He wants to go public. He wants the world to know Darwin was wrong. His latest asstardian demonstration is perhaps the worst of them all.

EDIT: Viacom took down all the YouTube videos of Kanye making a complete ass of himself at the VMA awards. Click here to see it in a news update video (watch from about 0:46).

Now he is actually insulting others while insulting himself. Make no mistake, folks, that is a skill. His ability to cause so much damage to his reputation in such a short period of time is a new feat in moronic efficiency. The expression shooting oneself in the foot comes to mind here. Having shot himself in the foot, a neanderthal will discover that such an action is not something he should do again, and will probably avoid it. Kanye, on the other hand, is a special kind of neanderthal, and simply does not learn. He will just keep on shooting. Luckily for us, the human body will cease to function once it is drained of all blood. If all else fails, there’s always Lucky Charms…

Tagged , , ,

0 thoughts on “Kanye West innovates new technique for getting murdered really quickly

  1. LOL “kanye on the other hand is a special kind of neanderthal”

    I agree, he doesn’t seem to learn and if this isn’t staged….he lacks tact. But if we were to try and really understand Kanye…lol, i think there’s just so much pent up frustration with the state of music, and society in general and that’s where this stems. It’s not an efficient way to deal with his frustrations…but, that just brings us right back around to the neanderthal commentary 😉

    • Salman Ansari says:

      There’s always the likelihood of it just being a case of Chappelle Effect. Basically, he got rich really fast and has no idea how to handle it. Before you know it he will cancel all his contracts, run away to Africa and “convert to Islam”.

  2. JZ says:

    Kanye is one of the biggest idiots I have ever seen. EVER. No further comment…

  3. Tyler Willis says:

    yo dawg, I loved this blog post, and I’mma let you finish, BUT UNCOV HAD ONE OF THE BEST SNARKY WEBSITES EVER!!!!

  4. Imran says:

    chillim!

Leave a Reply to Salman Ansari Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *