Category Archives: Thoughts

Cross your fingers…

My brother and I have a long-held belief that India’s chances for winning any given cricket match greatly decrease once either of us is watching them. This is not what you would call “superstition”, but rather a probabilistic correlation that could almost be considered causation.

In this light, I almost want to avoid watching the election, in the case that my bad-luck-vision has the ability to detract from Obama’s chances. This election has been a unique experience for me — I’ve never been interested enough to watch every debate and follow every twist, let alone genuinely believe in a candidate. Obama brings with him many forms of revolution, and it seems everyone I know is hoping he carries it to the President’s chair.

Thankfully, his chances are looking good. As a result, the Republican efforts in attacking Obama’s reputation have gotten more and more desperate as time goes on. The most recent one I’ve seen is utterly ridiculous to me. They are now accusing Obama of being too closely associated with anti-semitics. It is being suggested that under his rule, Isreal would be no more. I just don’t understand how they can reach this conclusion. Obama’s overt announcements that he will stand by the current Israel-friendly policies are actually one of my only concerns with Obama as president. To see the opposite conclusion made and then used for an attack is just… well… There is a plethora of adjectives I could use here, but at the end of the day, this sort of behaviour is actually more expected than anything.

My biggest problem is that the accusations are almost always without any real evidence behind them. Claims get repeated simply because they were claimed before. The McCain campaign has made at least one positive contribution, though. Thanks to their spokesmen, doctors now have hundreds of hours of video they can use when training interns on candidacy for dementia. Who says they don’t care about education?

Some bullshit is actually useful.

All the political bullshit going right now on reminded me of a story I once heard about cow shit. The story came with some very useful morals, especially for a story about cow shit. It went something like this:

Once upon a time there was a black swallow. This swallow had been left behind by his flock and was aimlessly wandering about in a winter blizzard. It was dark, windy, and he had lost all sense of direction. He began to weaken, as nature’s strength overwhelmed him. Finally, he collapsed to the ground. Lying there, motionless, he began to accept his inevitable death. He knew it was just a matter of time.

Meanwhile, a cow meandered over to his soon-to-be final resting place. As if his predicament was not torturous enough, the cow took a shit all over him. He wondered what he did in life to deserve such an unceremonious exit. He only wanted death to come quicker. But death never came. He survived the entire storm inside that pile of shit.

Soon, he realized it was the warmth of the cow’s shit that kept him alive the entire time. The irony of it all gave him a renewed perspective on life. No longer able to contain his joy, the swallow begin to sing loudly. He wanted the whole world to know how happy he was to be alive.

It was during this melodious outburst that a wandering cat overheard the swallow. The cat saw the buried swallow, and dug him out of the pile of shit. The swallow was convinced that his life had taken a turn for the better, and that getting shit on was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Then, the cat ate the swallow.


And now — the part that made reading all this worthwhile, the morals of the story:

  1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
  2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
  3. When you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.