PETA overtakes the UN in 2009 OPI List (Organizations Practicing Irrelevance)

PETA, in its latest efforts to remove all doubt that it has A.D.D., decided to issue a statement to the President of the United States. We’re not talking about just any target here, this is the biggest possible target they could pick on.

Now, in case you ran into a wall and couldn’t get up for a week, this all started when Obama had an interview with CNBC. During the interview, a fly buzzed around him for a while, until it became annoying enough to warrant serious action. He then proceeded to smack the fly with his hand, demonstrating dexterity comparable to Bush’s shoe evasion techniques (then again, no one on earth could compete with Bush’s evasion skills — 8 years doing what he did and evading impeachment? that deserves a Nobel prize).

While reading this article, I almost felt like PETA could be thought of as an annoying fly which serves no purpose except to fly around and remind others of its existence. This proverbial fly is now buzzing around Obama. The hypothetical scenario gives me some hope that Obama might just treat PETA with the same fate. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

No, you say. Who would perform the critical duties that PETA does? Ah, of course. Critical duties. For example, PETA was so offended by Obama’s fly swatting theatrics that they issued a statement against it, and sent him a special “kit” to help him avoid killing flies in the future. See below.

Yes. It’s real. They actually sent something which looks like a swiffer sweeper with a shitty public bathroom paper towel stuck to the end of it to the President of the United States. Stunning.

This device is actually an excellent representative of how absurd PETA as an organization is. When we think of cruelty to animals, we think about KFC chicken tractors, designer shampoo made of animal extracts, and other things which hippies pretend to find offensive. If you were in any way actually concerned about defending animals, you would go after the giant companies that are doing this on a daily basis in gigantic proportions. Instead, this moronic collection of Darwinian Exceptions to Evolution decide to go after the President because he swatted a fly. Kudos. Way to pick your battles, guys.

They could easily put a list together of institutions that kill animals on a regular basis, and target them. However, all that would do is save animals. Where’s the fun in that? At the end of the day it’s all about getting attention. Even so, no one seems to understand the simple concept that all attention is not good attention. While I don’t find their lack of insight surprising, I am left wondering where they found the time for all this. I would have figured they are way too busy spending their time killing all those animals.


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